21. Erotic Sovereignty: From Being Chosen to Choosing
Being desired can feel like validation. But when you’ve learned to organize your life around being chosen, it can also feel like an obligation. Where, in all of that, do you get to ask what you actually want?
In this episode, I share my own messy, sometimes funny journey through sexual shame, religious control, dating after leaving my marriage, and the realization that having sexual knowledge and experience didn’t mean I knew how to stay loyal to myself.
We explore erotic sovereignty, inner consent, and what changes when you can express a preference, decline an invitation, or change your mind without sacrificing yourself to keep someone interested. From a year of celibacy to experiencing intimacy where my boundaries are respected, this is a conversation about making room for your own yes, no, and maybe—and allowing them to matter.
Your body belongs to you. Someone else’s desire doesn’t create a debt.
Content note: Includes discussion of sexual trauma, coercion, religious shame, and personal sexual experiences, without graphic, violent, or heavy detail. I tried to keep things light.
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