19. When Dysregulation Is Telling You the Truth

What if your nervous system isn’t malfunctioning? What if it’s responding appropriately to an environment that isn't safe?

In this episode, I talk about what happened when nervous system regulation became one more way I was taught to blame myself for the effects of living in a psychologically abusive relationship. I was constantly walking on eggshells, anticipating anger, making myself smaller, and trying to regulate my way into tolerating an environment that was actively harming me.

Then I left—and the anxiety disorder I thought I had largely disappeared.

We’ll talk about how therapy language, attachment theory, and somatic tools can be weaponized by unsafe people; why regulation practices cannot compensate for chronic exposure to harm; and how the body begins to change when it finally experiences safety.

I also share what it has been like to have new experiences with a safe person—and to realize that I don’t have to brace for traffic, a disappointing meal, or someone else’s emotional reaction. Sometimes healing happens through tools. Sometimes it happens because you leave. And sometimes it happens when your body is finally shown that something else is possible.

Plus, a personal update on reclaiming the title of life coach, refining the direction of this platform, and helping women rebuild lives that truly belong to them.

www.monetnoctaris.com